He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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