We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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