it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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