he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
