TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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