I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
