Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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