Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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