i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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