never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
