no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
