Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
