I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
