Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
