I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
