margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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