okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
