absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
