i think i have two assholes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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