i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
