you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize