we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
