worst night to have a conscience
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Boobs speak an international language.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
