So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
