this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
