2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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