My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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