took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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