So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
