i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
