The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I got inside last night via doggy door
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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