yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
