Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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