She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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