I just cut my nipple shaving
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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