I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
