38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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