i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Mom said you looked used
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize