you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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