dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
