Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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