Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
