is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize