...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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