the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
