I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
