I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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