There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You pole danced in your parka.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
