You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
