Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
