So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
