just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
