Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
