Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
