I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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