yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
