well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize