Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize