he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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