either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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