She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize